My Fish 
Today is the last day of swimming lessons and the kids find out
if they get to move onto the next levels next year. I am amazed at how lessons have increased their confidence and it’s unbelievable what they have learned. The unfortunate thing is that it’s a new way for them to give their mother mini-heart attacks. 

Yesterday during lessons they allowed the kids to go off the diving boards. Will decided to try the high-dive and he didn’t want a life
jacket or anyone to catch him. He showed no fear at all and immediately jumped. The competition was on! There was no way Mac was going to have her brother jumping off the high-dive when she had never done it. She marched up the ladder and jumped in too. 

Later in the day we went back to the pool as the kids were excited to go off the dives again. I waited in the deep water as they did their first jumps without life guards in the water. Mac jumped with no problems and then Will climbed up. He stood on the edge of the board, waved to me and then turned around and did a back flip off the high-dive! I thought the lifeguard was going to fall right out of her chair. Everyone clapped and cheered as his little head emerged from the water. He was so proud he marched up the ladder and did it again.

Will is in a level-one class where they are learning how to do front and back floats and to hold their breath underwater. He is way too advanced for the class he is in but we didn’t know this until lessons started. The child has amazing abilities when it comes to swimming. He can do the front and back stroke and dive already. He can do everything Mac can do and she is in a level 4 class. 

Seeing a 5-year old child, just a little over 3-feet tall standing on a high-dive is heart wrenching, it seems unnatural. So for two hours my kids went off the diving boards as I stood on the side lines freaking out each time. My heart couldn’t take much more. I’m praying for rain today
after lessons so I don’t have to go through it again.  

It’s So Flippen Hot……

I saw a chicken lay an omelet.

A squirrel in my back yard picked up his nuts with pot holders.

I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

My thermometer goes up to "Are you freaking kidding me?"!

My next book should be called 50 shades of red.

The Devil was in Home Depot buying air conditioners.

My change melted into a medallion in my purse.

I’m sweating like a priest at a little league game.


Stay cool today! 


 
 

The Trailer
I absolutely love the man’s voice on my book trailer. It reminds
me of the voice you hear on the Men’s Warehouse commercials. If you haven’t seen it yet, please turn up the volume and watch it and let me know what you think. 
 
Chicken Patties -Recreating Yucky Food
At the grocery store the other day the kids spotted some frozen
chicken patties and began reminiscing about school lunches. They loved “chicken patty” day and wanted me to try to recreate this yummy lunch. Reluctantly I bought some and cooked them. They smelled horrific and tasted even worse. But drenched in ketchup on a bun they turned out to be something amazing for the kids. They wanted to know how I possibly was talented enough to make food as good as the lunch ladies. I’m not sure if that was a compliment or an insult. 
 
Nike-Just Don’t Do It 
The other day Will was wearing a Nike shirt that said, “Just Do It” on the front and I was thinking how opposite that is from the way I think.
Nike should make a line of shirts for boys his age that say, “Just Don’t Do It.” 
 
Last night he played his last T-ball of the season and afterwards
there was a water balloon fight and a sprinkler to run through. Candy and lemonade was also abundant. Each child also received a beautiful metal similar to the metals the Olympians receive complete with the ribbon so they could wear them around their necks. 

The hardest thing for the boys were the rules set up before the
water balloon fight which included no throwing balloons at parents. I could see Will was struggling with this as several times he made eye contact, desperately wanting to peg me. But each time I gave him the “don’t you dare” look and he tossed his balloon in a different
direction.

On the way home we talked about how T-ball was now over for the
year and I asked him his favorite part, was it batting, running the bases or maybe trying to catch a pop-fly? Nope it was the water balloon fight. I guess we could have saved a lot of time and money had we just signed him up for a water balloon team! 

Heat
When it’s 84 degrees at 7:00am you know it’s going to be one hot,
sticky day. Stay cool my friends!

Toby Keith
On July 21st Toby Keith will be playing at the Great Jones County Fair. We have tickets to this sold out event. Yesterday I found these way cool shirts that T.J. and I will wear to the concert. Believe it or not, they were being sold at the Fareway grocery store. I’m really looking
forward to seeing Mr. Keith in action.

Trailer
I bought a trailer! And no it’s not a double wide with polyester curtains and a redwood deck, it’s a book trailer! These are the latest and greatest way to advertise books. As soon as it’s posted to You Tube I will provide
the link so you can see it. It also has a voice over. I’m very excited about
this. Special thanks to Don Franklin from Black Moon Publishing for making this happen. And to my fellow authors at Rainstorm Press, YOU CAN afford one of these. http://donfranklin.wordpress.com/black-moon-book-trailers/

Fareway Drama 
We had a bit of excitement yesterday at the local Fareway grocery
store. It was a typical shopping trip where we got what we needed and drove home and then realized we forgot something. We went back to the store and Mac decided she would run in and get what we forgot. During that two-minute time span a physically and mentally disabled gentleman, well known in the community, began beating up his caregiver in the parking lot. Most of the action took place inside the vehicle they were in. Thankfully the staff at Fairway came to the
rescue and called 911. 

The checker who rang up Mac’s items told her, “Run to your car as
fast as you can.” Employee’s feared for the safety of all customers as they thought the man may get out of the car. Mac was extremely frightened when she got in the car as she witnessed this man’s actions as she was running. You could clearly hear the screams of the woman being attacked. I contemplated going over to the car to help but by the time I knew what was going on, the car was surrounded by people trying to help. I did my part by getting out of the way and driving home. 

I tried to explain to the kids about people with mental disabilities and how sometimes they snap but it was a difficult conversation. I try to keep their lives all rainbows and unicorns but sometimes things like
this pop up and ruin a perfectly good fairytale kind of day. 
 
Here’s to you having a perfectly good fairytale kind of day!
 


 
 
 
 

Fishflies
 I feel bad today. Yesterday I was complaining about my tiny, white, fuzzy bugs and then I saw some Facebook posts and realized the Fish
Flies had hatched in Dubuque. For those of you that have never experienced Fish Flies, they are the stuff that bad dreams are made of. These bugs are also called Mayflies or Fish Bugs. 

These insects live only 24 hours and during that time they mate
and lay eggs. They are attracted to light and at night swarms will completely cover the windows of gas stations. These insects stink horribly – they smell like dead fish and if you get one inside your car it will smell the same. Swarms of these bugs also cover the roads and cause accidents because they are slippery to drive on. When I lived in La Crosse Wisconsin, I remember the city getting out the snow plows and cleaning the roads of these nasty creatures. They left huge piles of the bugs by the roadside. 
 
So I’m sorry I complained about my snow white, beautiful, angelic
looking bugs when you Dubuquer’s are dealing with bugs from hell. 
 
Gardening 
I have an area in my backyard where I’m trying to grow grass and can’t but I seem to have plenty of grass growing in my garden, what’s up with that? And there’s another thing I noticed. You know those pre-potted vegetables in those biodegradable containers? Did you know that you’re supposed to remove the plastic rings from the top of the pots before
planting? I didn’t, so now I have plastic rings mixed in with the weeds in my garden.  What a mess. Why does gardening have to be so hard? 

McHaircut
There’s a story in the news that has me perplexed. An 11-year old
girl and a friend were at a McDonalds and they befriended a 3-year old little girl and then proceeded to cut several inches off of her hair with a scissors. For bad behavior a judge sentenced the girl to serve 30 days detention and 276 hours of community service but he agreed to reduce the sentence to 126 hours of community service if the mom agreed to cut off the child’s ponytail. The mom did this in the court room but now is filing suit against the judge because she felt intimidated. 

There are many things in this story that have me shaking my head.
First and foremost where in the hell were the parents when all of this was going on? If you are the mother of a three year old shouldn’t she have her butt in a booth eating her McNuggets? Why would you let the child roam around and hang out with strangers? And for the older kids, why did they have a scissors in a McDonald’s in the first place, are they now putting them in Happy Meals? I don’t get this. 

Ronald McDonald must be really disappointed with this whole situation. I can’t wait to see how the mother does with her case. For being stupid she should be sentenced to 276 hours of working at a McDonald’s Play
Land. Maybe then she would learn what it’s like to actually watch children. 

Stupid is as stupid does - Forest Gump

J&P 
Thousands of people turned out for the rally at J&P Cycles this weekend. The kids and I went yesterday and had a great time. One of the
event shows was called One Wheel Revolution and it involved two guys stunt riding. It was an exciting show, they spun around in circles, stood on their seats, spun tires until pink smoke came out, they rode wheelies and did a move they called the “highchair” where they put their legs over the handlebars and then did wheelies. Afterwards we stood in line and the kids got autographed posters and stickers. 

And then there was Papa Balloon. I’m so stupid I didn’t even catch the meaning of the cleaver name until the day was over. At this booth a
gentleman crafted the most unique balloon creations I have ever seen. Will chose a motorcycle and Mac chose a butterfly. But as I always say, when balloons are involved so are tears because balloons don’t last forever. Our tears started when we got home and Mac threw Will’s balloon onto the grass and it popped. 

We had free burgers, hotdogs, chips and cookies and then stopped
at the Italian Ice Stand and the kids got giant snow cones. We then petted a huge Saint Bernard named Bertha that had just arrived riding in a sidecar. We saw some cool ink, some interesting people and had a wonderful time. If you didn’t make it this year, put it on your list for next year, it’s something to see. 

Fluffy Bugs
Is it just me or are you seeing a strange bug outside this year? If I walk out onto the deck within seconds I have at least a dozen tiny, white, fuzzy bugs on me. They look like snow when you see them fly together in a swarm. They are beautiful little bugs but I’ve never seen them around her before. My online search brought up Hackberry Aphids or Wooly Aphids but I’m still not sure if that’s what they are. On several websites people down south claimed their homes were infested with these bugs and one lady claimed she had them in her hair – like lice! 

These bugs didn’t bite me (that I’m aware of) but some people claim they do bite. That reminds me of the scene in Labyrinth where Hoggle is spraying beautiful little fairies to kill them. Sara scolds him and tries to hold one….and it bites her. Looks can be deceiving. Why are these angelic bugs raising hell in Iowa this year and what kind of damage are they doing to the crops? Do you have these bugs in your neighborhood?  

http://bugguide.net/node/view/233376

Today I read an article online that broke my heart and made me go
to a place where I shouldn’t go. The article was about a 10 year old girl who was recently found in a closet in Missouri, she weighed 32 pounds. The day she was found her mother had taken her two sisters out for breakfast. The girl claimed the mother kept her in the closet because she sometimes messed herself. The mother claimed she kept her in the closet because it was obvious that she was malnourished and she didn’t want to get in trouble for it. 

This article took me to http://www.adoptuskids.org/meet-the-children/search, a place where you can see pictures of children that are available for adoption. This is a place I shouldn’t go to as it’s so sad to see their adorable pictures and to know that their odds of getting adopted are slim to none. It makes me take a hard look at my life and situation and wonder if there isn’t something more I can do to help. 
 
When I lived in West Virginia I remember seeing a family of 12
children that were available for adoption. Of course they wanted the children to stay together but understood that most people couldn’t handle that many kids. I imagined what it would be like to take on that many and then I imagined what it would be like for them watch as each sibling went to different homes. It was a really heart wrenching situation.

 My husband must dread the days I go through this but he is level
headed and reminds me that we can’t save them all. I’m all for the foster to adopt program but I could never just foster. Getting attached to the children is a given but the real issue for me is dealing with the parents of these children while you are fostering. Stupid people shouldn’t be allowed to have children but this is the good old USA where anything
goes.

 And it all seems so simple; birth control. If people would use it
we wouldn’t have this big of a problem. If people who wanted children would adopt we wouldn’t have this big of a problem. I know it’s not fair that we should have to raise “other people’s kids” but man it sure is hard living with the knowledge that these kids are experiencing horrific childhoods. They didn’t ask for this and they don’t deserve it. 
 
Did you know that when you adopt you can chose a child right down
to eye or hair color? Did you know that the child’s birth certificate will be
remade and will read that you (females) gave birth to the child in whatever state they were born in? Did you know that it doesn’t cost any money to adopt a child?

Have you ever said, "someday I would like to adopt a child?" Today would be a great day to get moving forward with that.

Have a happy Sunday passengers! 
http://news.yahoo.com/32-pound-10-old-found-locked-mo-closet-001500033.html


 

J&P
 If you live in my neighborhood get ready, today begins J&P Cycle’s 2-day open house event. If you love motorcycles, people watching, shopping or just experiencing a different side of life, you have to attend this
event. Over 25,000 motorcycle enthusiasts come every year to check it out. The best part, it’s free! No parking fees, no admission cost and they even provide FREE food and drinks. There are not many things in this day and age that are completely free but J&P Cycles does this each year as a way to thank their existing customers and to encourage others to get in on the action.
 
Aside from motorcycle vendors from all over and having the
opportunity to buy discounted merchandise you can also watch professional stunt shows or talk to experts in the field. This year they even have a guy making balloon characters for the kids. Put this on your to-do list for the weekend and bring your camera, seeing hundreds of motorcycles in neat little lines is an amazing sight. You will see T.J. (my husband) on your way in to the parking lot as he typically directs traffic for the event. Give him a little wave on your way through. 

Sandusky
All I can say is life in prison isn’t enough. This bastard needs
to fry and so does his wife. In prison he will be segregated to an area with other criminals of his own kind as normal prisoners would kill him. I say put him in a cell and let the victims and their families spend some quality, alone time with him. 

Just a few days ago a father in Texas caught a man raping his 4-year old daughter and he beat him to death with his fists. He faces no charges! Gotta love Texas justice.  Maybe they should set Sandusky free in
Texas and see how long it makes it there. 
 
Bullies 
I’m sure you’ve all seen the news story about the 68 year old
woman who was bullied by some middle school students. This poor woman is now seeing that all people are not bad as she is being showered with gifts and lots of cash that has been raised for her. 

Yesterday at the pool I got a taste of how a bully is properly raised. A woman brought her son to swimming lessons and he refused to get into
the water. We are now a week into a two week session so the child has been in the water plenty of times, he is even a level 3 swimmer around the age of 7. The mother of this child begged and pleaded with the child to get in the water but he refused. Finally she resorted to bribes. “If you get in the pool and do your lesson I will let you have a friend over this afternoon.” His reply was, “big deal, there are a lot more days of summer vacation left. I will just have a friend over on another day.” 

The mother of this child got on the phone and called her mother
who promptly showed up at the pool. This grandmother also pleaded with the child and offered gifts and other dangling carrots but the child refused. He refused until the clock said there was one minute left of lessons. He then stated there was only one minute left and that he would get into the water for his lesson and that they would then have to pay up with everything they offered in return, including having a friend over. They agreed! The child got into the water and splashed around as the grandmother and mother went on and on about what a great
swimmer he was. 

Brat, brat, brat! I could hardly keep still on my lounge chair as
I watched this unfold. I wanted to hold both of their heads under water. What the hell kind of parenting was that? And here were two generations of women honing the same skills. I realize you can lead a kid to water but you can’t make them swim however you can also drag them away kicking and screaming as you tell them the consequences of what will happen when you get them home.

I guarantee that every child that’s labeled a bully has at least one parent that’s an idiot. 

Have a happy day passengers!
 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Bed
When we first bought our bed, around 5-years ago, it was my favorite place in the whole world. It felt like I was sleeping on a cloud. It wasn’t anything fancy either, just a pillow-top mattress. I had the best sleep
of my life for probably the first two years. For the past three years things are getting progressively worse. Some days I have a really hard time getting out of bed because my back hurts so bad. And with a pillow-top you can’t flip it so that only leaves two different ways you can turn it. And for me one of the turns equals me laying the black hole created by my husband.

We need a new mattress and the Sleep Number commercials really
have gotten my interest. I looked on their website today and these beds are expensive – but are they worth it? There are plenty of reviews out there for me to read but I’m very selective in WHERE I read my reviews as many people get paid to write good reviews. (Once upon a time I even wrote good reviews for products I never used and places I had never been to. I realize that this was wrong but the money was good so I did it. But I didn’t do it for long as the guilt got to me.) 

One website to go to for REAL reviews is http://www.epinions.com I recommend this site if you are looking for true customer experiences. What I read there about the Sleep Number beds really turned me off. 

So now I’m asking you…..what kind of bed do you have and do you
love it or hate it? 

Bad Mom
Sunscreen is a huge part of our life. McKenzie has fair skin, freckles and red hair. She is a ginger through and through as far as the physical description goes but it ends there. Many people claim gingers have a
higher tolerance for pain and as a major drama queen; Mac certainly has not inherited this trait. Ginger’s are also said to be soulless and that they get one freckle for each soul they steal, she has hundreds! It is also said that redheads are feared in the UK – I think this is funny. 
 
I digress. The other day we did sun screen before going to the pool and after one hour reapplied. But something went horribly wrong and she
ended up with a massive sunburn. We’re talking huge blisters on her shoulders! I feel awful as this child is nine and has never had a sun burn in her life. In her baby and toddler years she would scream if the sun even touched her skin for a second – we joked that she was a vampire baby and had to come up with creative ways to block the sun from all angles in the car. 
 
The kids have swimming lessons for the next ten days so I can’t
just keep her out of the sun and I don’t totally trust the sunblock anymore either. So yesterday I had to pull out the big guns and I made her wear a tee-shirt over her swimming suit. She was mortified! “The other kids will make fun of me mom, you are ruining my life!” But I had to do it and I will continue to do it. 

The sunblock wasn’t expired and it is 70 SPF and water resistant
and we reapplied after one hour. We followed the same routine we have followed all summer. So why one this one particular day didn’t it work? So now I’m on the hunt for a “cool” SPF swimming shirt for girls or even a suit that covers shoulders and backs. I’m not having much luck online as most of the items I'm finding are for boys. If you have any ideas I
could really use your help on this one. I feel like the worst mom ever!


 
 
 

Eating Twenty-Dollar Bills 
Thanks to everyone for the kind words and advice for my
migraines. Yesterday I picked up a prescription at the pharmacy. The cost was $185 for 9 pills! In the future I will look into cheaper options but I had to have this medicine. It won’t help me with normal headaches but at least I know I can prevent the major catastrophes from happening. I figure $185 is cheaper than a trip to the ER but it still sucks, it’s like swallowing twenty-dollar bills. 

I didn’t start having migraines until I had McKenzie which was
nine years ago. Prior to that I didn’t have a clue and I wasn’t very
understanding when other’s said they had one. As a manager I dealt with a lot of people and when they would call in and say they couldn’t come to work because they had a migraine I didn’t get it. I figured they could take a couple of aspirins and get rid of it. I honestly thought it was a way for them to get out of work. I had no sympathy for them. I believe I have migraines now as a punishment for all the people I didn’t believe back then.

If you are lucky and do not get migraines I can assure you that
they are real and they are awful. A dark, quiet room and a soft place to lie is the best and sleep can take the edge off sometimes. A cold rag on the forehead or an ice pack helps. It’s sometimes just nice to know someone cares and is there to check on you once in a while. The day after a migraine I often feel wiped out, tired and lifeless and many times have what I refer to as "aftershocks” or regular headaches.

 So if you know others that have migraines please take them
 seriously and encourage them to see a neurologist so they can get some
 medicine. 

Supernatural Fix 
Jamie Klein commented on yesterday’s blog that he has never
missed an episode of Supernatural. He also mentioned that you can download the newer seasons online. That gave me an idea and it didn’t take much convincing to get my husband to try it. We hooked my laptop up to the big screen and watched season 7, episode 1! It was different because the streaming was slightly visible but the worst part was the commercials. I had forgotten how awful commercial television was and it was the same commercials every time; tampons, an abortion pill, fingernail polish and BING. We have gotten spoiled watching Netflix. I don’t think I would watch another episode online, it just wasn’t the same. But oh how I love the show. At least now I know that if I need
a “fix” I have an option. 

And I forgot to tell you, for Father’s day we gave T.J. a Supernatural Tee Shirt that say’s “Supernatural, resurrecting classic rock one
episode at a time “ and a sticker for the back of his Tahoe that says“Protected by Castiel.” You can find way cool Supernatural stuff at Café Press.com.

Capri Sun V
I’m all about healthy food and drinks for kids. It was McKenzie’s
turn to take drinks to her softball game the other night and she picked Capri Sun V. This is a new drink product that contains 75% fruit juice and 25% vegetable juice. These drinks are available in a variety of flavors, McKenzie chose Apple. I took one sip and gagged. It was awful; you could really taste the vegetable juice, it was like sucking the juice out of a piece of celery. But what I think doesn’t matter, the kids love it and it’s good for them so thank you Capri Sun V. 

Have a fantastic day!

Migraines
It’s been a few days since you’ve seen a blog from me and I don’t want to bore you with my medical crap but I feel like I owe you an explanation. I was diagnosed some time ago from a neurologist with vestibular migraines.  That type of migraine puts you in more of a dizzy state and doesn’t cause the pain that a normal migraine generates. So I dealt with the vestibular version for a while and now I’m back to the good old fashioned migraines again. So far I’ve had three days of normal headaches, one day with a full-blown migraine and I followed that up with another regular headache. When I have a headache I can’t think straight, I can’t write, I can’t drink coffee, I don’t want to eat and
it’s just a really bad ordeal for me. When I have a migraine I feel like I’m
going to die. I’m trying some new medications and I hope to have this under control soon. It’s ruining my life as I don’t want to leave home for fear that I’ll get a headache. It’s no way to live. So there you have it. And if you also suffer from migraines, I would love to hear what you take or how you deal with them. 

The Green, Green Grass of Home
I received a letter in the mail from the City of Monticello telling me that our water consumption has doubled in the past month. They will
send a person over (for free) to check for leaks. We are going to take them up on this but I pretty much know what the problem is. I have been watering our grass. When I was young I didn’t have the fantasy about growing up and having a house with a white picket fence, I wanted a house with really nice grass and that is precisely what I have. We are the only house on the block with lush green grass; everyone else has fried grass, brown and burnt. So where does the obsession stop? There is no rain in sight but is the extra money worth it? I’m proud of my house and lawn and enjoy mowing and making fancy lines and I love the feeling of the soft grass between my toes. 
 
Do you water your lawn? 

Supernatural 
We have managed to watch every single episode of Supernatural on
Netflix and I can’t wait for more. The Winchester boys have rocked my world but the angel Castiel has my upmost attention. It’s fun watching the series because the actors really grow over time. When you watch the first few episodes you may notice the lack of experience in acting but as more seasons are completed, these boys really have it down. I would love to sit down and chat with the writers of this series; they have pulled off some amazing storylines. If you have never experienced Supernatural, you should watch a couple episodes. I guarantee you
will fall in love with the characters, Dean and Sam. And you will also learn a thing or two about how to battle the demon’s in your life. I highly recommend Supernatural! 

Stay cool today!