My kids had school on Presidents day so it was only fitting that they learned a thing or two about presidents. They couldn’t wait to impress me with their new found knowledge.
Will: I leaned about a president that never told a lie. His name
was Upper Hand Lincoln.
Me: (Giggling) Upper Hand Lincoln?! Do you mean Abraham
Will: No Mom, my teacher told us his name was Upper Hand so that
has to be his name because teachers know everything.
So then McKenzie decides to dazzle me with her
Mac: I learned about a president who ate a bunch of cherries, drank cold milk and had an abortion on the 4th of July.
Mac: Yep, on the 4th of July. He had a bad stomach ache and then died. I can’t remember his name.
(After Goggling )
Me: His name was Zachery Taylor, he was the 12th president of the
United States and he got sick on the 4th of July after eating cherries and
drinking milk but he died on the 9th of July. He died of gastroenteritis or
the stomach flu. (Gastroenteritis doesn’t even sound like abortion!)
I’m just glad my kids are getting such a wonderful education.
On Monday one of the greatest crime writers of all times won a law suit against her financial management company. Patricia Cornwell claimed
that due to their negligence she lost millions.
The financial management company accused of mishandling her funds
claimed no money was missing. They claimed her extravagant lifestyle was the reason for the missing money and gave examples of; Ferraris, helicopters and a temporary apartment in NYC that she paid $40,000 per month to rent.
I had to read that part over and over. It wasn’t just Ferrari it was Ferraris and it wasn’t helicopter it was helicopters! And $40,000 per month for a rental – what the hell does that place look like? I want to be Patricia Cornwell when I grow up. She’s 56 years old and a writer who lives like a rock star. I love this woman.
Patty (we are on a first name basis now) was upset that the financial company couldn’t find her a suitable place to write when contractors,
doing renovation work on her house, took longer than expected. In the end she missed a deadline for a book for the very first time.
Say what?! What exactly is Patty’s idea of a suitable place to write? I’ve written in the backseat of a car, at a bar, on the beach and probably on the shitter once or twice. Any place is a suitable for me write but maybe my standards are too low. I wonder what suggestions the financial company came up with.
In the end Patty won a whopping 50.9 million dollars. Typically you see rock stars living such lavish lifestyles but not usually writers. I promise that when I make it big I will not have issues with finding suitable places to write. As long as there’s a place to park my Ferrari I’ll be just