Some of you call him Terry, I call him: Pete, Peter, Peatie-Man, Little Man, Little Mannie and Skater Boy but mostly I call him TJ. One day, over twenty years ago, we were riding on an ATV deep in the woods in Minnesota at a friend’s house. It was a beautiful day, the sky was blue, the birds were chirping and the woods were a wonderland to drive through. The planets were also in perfect alignment, we were young and in love.
We rode the twisting, winding trails until we were miles away from civilization. It was romantic and tragic at the same time. I had to go and not just an ordinary “go,” I could tell by the way my stomach was howling that it was definitely going to be a case of diarrhea. The nearest toilet was miles away so I just needed to take a deep breath and do my thing in the woods like the animals do.
I couldn’t possibly tell TJ the truth so I led him to believe that I just had to “pee.” Like a perfect gentleman he found me a clear, secluded spot and then walked away and told me he would meet me at the ATV when I was finished. As I “loudly” began to go, the reality of the situation was starting to hit me. I was in the woods with a bad case of the diarrhea, no toilet paper and I had white shorts on.
Squatting there in the woods I began to cry. Not just
your average cry, a sobbing, hysterical theatrical production. The day was ruined and TJ would probably want nothing to do with me in the future. I
pictured myself riding on the back of the ATV with my shit-stained shorts and sitting on a towel in the car for the ride home, reeking of shit with the windows rolled down.
Then out of nowhere I saw a hand appear from
behind a tree. It was TJ’s hand and he was holding some material. He had taken a pocket knife and cut up the tee-shirt he was wearing. He had neatly cut it into toilet paper sized squares! I took the first square and dried my tears. Talk about a prince charming saving the day! From that moment on I knew he was the man that I would marry someday. He literally gave me the shirt off of his back (to wipe my ass
Awww, wasn’t that sweet?! And every word of it is true. Still to this day anytime life gets “shitty” for me, I can still count on TJ to rescue me. He’s the love of my life and I wouldn’t trade him for anything. Now I doubt that you will ever see that story made into a Disney production but that’s too bad, sometimes prince charming drives an ATV instead of riding a white horse and sometimes he carries a pocket knife instead of a sword and sometimes a princess
has to “go” in the woods.
On another note I received an e-mail from my publisher and an artist has been chosen to do my cover! He said I will have the edits by 1-1-12
and he gave me some homework to do on choosing a person to review my book. I will give you all the juicy details at a later time.
I received the first Christmas card of the year yesterday; Randy and Judy Ludowitz win the race once again. And it was the cutest Charlie Brown
card with a special note inside: Keep the Bus Rollin! Thanks guys I sure will.
Have a SUPER day passengers!