Long, long ago in a land no longer lived in, there was a girl named Tammy who actually fit into those sleazy Halloween costumes. So why is it that today I curse those costumes and talk poorly about females wearing them? That’s easy; because I no longer fit into those costumes anyone that wears them shall be condemned. And let’s be realistic, even if I could fit into those costumes I wouldn’t wear them anyway.
But there are a lot of people that wear costumes that don’t fit them. It’s more like dress like a hooker day anymore. Some of these women would
look more realistic dressed as a house than a maid and others would look great as a car but instead they dress as a slutty police officer or vampire. But whatever, it’s only one day out of the year so do whatever trips your trigger. Just beware of jealous wives or you could end up with a plastic sword through your heart.
The kids started complaining already this morning about Trick or
Treating tonight. They don’t think it’s fair that I am making them wear coats. “It’s just not cool mom, why should we put on costumes and then put coats on over the top so no one can see them?” They have a great point but it’s going to be 40 degrees tonight, too cold to go without a coat. And their costumes would not look right if they put on layers on
Why hasn’t someone designed a see-through Halloween coat for kids
in the Midwest? I would think with all the technology we have today that someone could pull that off. Make it see-through and warm and I’ll buy two in various sizes for the next few years. The kids are right, why dress up and then put a coat on? Whoever invented Halloween certainly didn’t live in Iowa.
So my kids are mad already but too bad so sad, they’ll get over it. The sad part it there will be a lot of kids out tonight with no coats on
because they don’t have moms who will make them wear coats. These are the moms who want to be best friends with their kids and they avoid conflict at all costs. These are probably the same moms still wearing those sleazy Halloween costumes! Now I’m putting two and two together.
What do you get when you goose a
A handful of sheet!
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts!
Did you hear what happened to the girl and boy vampire?
They loved in vein!
Happy Halloween everybody! Be safe, have fun and if you dress
like a hooker please send me a picture!