McDonald’s has done it this time; they’ve created the perfect superhero. I’m not sure who he’s supposed to be but he’s mean and green and my kids call him Captain Roller Crotch. If you look at the picture you’ll see why they call him that. (And don’t ask why my son bit a portion of his head off.) He has a wheel on his crotch and if you give him a shove he takes a little ride. You can even flip a switch and light him up before he cruises around. When trouble comes knock’in I really ain’t gonna watch, cause you’ll get a whippen from Captain Roller Crotch! “How does he pee mom?” “I don’t know son but I bet he makes one hell of a mess in the bathroom.”
The Sea Monkey’s the kids got for Easter got dumped down the drain this morning and I’m adding them to my “stupidest products” list. When I was a kid I remembered looking at my sea monkeys and imagining them as little tiny underwater people. Today I probably dumped an entire empire down the drain and I had no remorse. My kids hated them. I guess in this technological world of wonders, things like Sea Monkeys are boring to kids. You can have a complete virtual aquarium filled with every imaginable fish on the planet on your phone,
iPod or computer so what’s the point of having almost invisible creatures in a cheesy little container on the kitchen counter? Captain Roller Crotch is much
more exciting than Sea Monkeys anyway.
The kids brought home their “spring” pictures today. When I was a kid we had our school pictures taken once per year. My kids do this twice per year and I think it’s a racket. They tell you when picture day is going to be and they take pictures regardless if you want them or not. When they are ready they send them home with the kids. If you like them you can keep them for $40 or $16 per sheet. If you don’t like them you send them back to school with your kid
and they THROW THEM AWAY. Is it really necessary to do this twice a year and do they really have to cost so much money?
I typically get suckered into buying $80+ in pictures twice per year because let’s face it, we love our kids and professional pictures usually rock. Well this time I was really disappointed with the pictures. Will’s shirt wasn’t tucked in and Mac was in a weird pose with a fake smile on her face. I hate the pictures and don’t want them. I could have done a better job with my digital camera.
But the guilt sets in. “Mom, some of the money from the pictures goes towards a new playground. Don’t you want us to have a new playground? Don’t
you think I look pretty mom? Can I share some of the pictures with my friends Mom? Won’t grandma love these pictures Mom?”
I can’t imagine what it’s like for the parents that have three or more children or the parents that can’t afford any pictures at all. I think it’s mean to send pictures home with kids whose parents can’t afford them. How bad must they feel? How bad must it make the kids feel? It’s like bullying, grown-up style.
Say CHEESE and have a fantastic day passengers!