I was supposed to have a sketch of my cover but
the artist that’s working it had her computer blow up. I was supposed to have my manuscript back for the final edit but my editor has been sick all week. I’m totally freaking out here people: this does not equal good karma. And it gets even more twisted.
I live in Iowa where it was 57 degrees out yesterday – that was a record high temperature. It’s usually really cold right now with lots of snow on the ground. While I was raking leaves, I found a Rose that had bloomed and then died. The flower was dead but the plant is still alive. You can see this "unlucky rose" in the picture above.
A rose, in Iowa, in January is unheard of, it’s just not right. So I “Googled” December Rose (because I Google everything that doesn’t make sense to me) and I found a list of Rose meanings. This website said a December Rose signifies “anxiety.” What the hell! Of course it causes anxiety, why in hell’s name is it there in the dead of winter, in Iowa, in January?! So now I have no cover, no pages to edit and a dead rose to boot. It’s an omen, I just know it. Remember the Poltergeist movie? Four people died making that movie. What if my book is“toxic” like that movie was, and what if something bad happens to everyone that touches it?! (Doing the sign of the cross) Pray for my book (and artist and editor) passengers, pray!
Pillsbury Dough/Biscuits packaging, need I say more? I hate those things. Unwrap a little bit of the wrapper and if the bastard doesn’t“pop” and scare the shit out of you then you have to poke it with a spoon and eventually it “pops” and scares the shit out of you. I literally dread opening those containers. What a stupid design. Whoever came up with that idea needs a “pop” in the head!
Word of the Day - Fanny
Now that I’m completely obsessed with my friends
“across the pond” and the way they talk and the foods they eat, I think we will start going over a few language basics. I found complete web sites dedicated to explaining the differences in language. Today I learned that “Brit’s” make fun of us American’s when we talk about our fanny packs because their fannies are on the other side! No lie. A women’s fanny “over there” is her private parts. So if you were to “slap someone on the fanny” you would go directly to jail! And if you told someone they had a “fat fanny” you would be saying their vagina is large, so don’t say that, it would be rude. And if you say “you need to get your fanny in gear” that would totally freak people out. They call a fanny pack a “bum bag” because their butts aren’t butts either, they are bums.
Have a good day passengers, stay out of trouble and let me know if anything “strange” or “unusual” happens to you today.