Yesterday in the car I heard a commercial on the radio that really took me by surprise. I will remind you that I live in Iowa where we do CORN not PORN. The commercial was for a strip club in Cedar Rapids called the Lumberyard. That’s strange, I thought, why on earth would anyone call a strip club The Lumberyard? And then they hit me with the tag line. “The Lumberyard, where real men go to get wood!” Ha! That’s pretty funny if you ask me.
I'm going to open a ladies only bar right next door and call it the Woodchipper!
Weeks ago Price Harry graced the newspaper with his nakedness Las Vegas style and now I see Prince Phillip was caught “hanging out” at the Highland games in Scotland last week. It seems Grandpa goes commando under his freshly ironed kilt. But why wasn’t Phillip all over the newspapers like Harry was? That’s easy; he’s not nearly as cute. So now everyone needs to lay off Harry because exhibitionism runs in the family.
Through a Facebook post I recently learned that our friends across the pond don’t have candy corn. What a harsh world we live in. Sakina
Murdock, fellow rock star author from Rainstorm Press asked me what it tastes like. So here’s my shot at educating the less fortunate on candy corn;
In the US candy corn is to Halloween as candy canes are to Christmas. They are never a “main” thing but always a staple. People either love or hate it, there are no in-betweens. Those that hate it claim it’s similar to fruitcake and that it’s recycled year after year. Those that love it can’t live without it.
You can buy cheap candy corn for around a dollar a bag and that tastes okay but for a few dollars you can get a high quality bag that is much
tastier. Brach’s is a good brand to buy. According to Wikipedia we eat 20
million pounds of candy corn per year. My God, you would think that we could share some of that with you guys!
Candy corn has a flavor all its own, sugary and waxy, it’s slightly rough on the outside and then smooth on the tongue and has a twinge of a honey taste. Some people claim it tastes like fondant. Food coloring is used to add white, orange and yellow colors. It’s supposed to look like real corn kernels but it doesn’t even come close.
We love candy corn so much that many manufacturers have candy corn flavored products: we have Oreo’s, Dot’s, Popcorn, Soda, M&M’s, Kisses, Jelly Beans and others. I feel sad that you don’t have candy corn but then again we don’t have spotted dick and we are no worse for the wear! Here’s a link where you can get yourself some corn.