made sure everything was in order. I even gave Maddie her Cat Valium and had the animals loaded in plenty of time. We drove to the Casey’s gas station and Charlie and I shared a slice of pizza while I read the newspaper. The cats were crying a bit but nothing out of the ordinary.
We parked at the end of our street for a while and spied on the
people looking at our house. They were standing in the driveway with the realtor and I wondered what the conversation was all about. I was hoping they liked the house because I’m so ready to be done with this whole house selling thing.
When we arrived home I released Charlie from his leash and then set the cats free. Maddie stumbled into the kitchen, banking off the wall a few times. She collapsed onto the kitchen floor; eyes crossed and drool pouring out of her mouth. Her stomach began to contract and I feared she was going to throw up. Looking back I wish she would have because what she did was much worse, she began shitting on the kitchen floor in a laying down position.
Our other cat Rose sat next to Maddie’s behind and was watching with fascination as the turds squirmed out. I grabbed a roll of paper towel and began trying to catch the shit as it emerged from her ass. I never imagined finding myself in such a position, it was pure and utter hell. Gagging, I managed to clean it all up and even lifted her tail for a quick wipe of the ass at the end. I bagged the shit up and threw it out in the yard and grabbed a can of Febreeze and began spraying the kitchen.
I’ve been wasted a few times in my life but I can never, ever remember being so drunk and relaxed that I shit my pants. And even if I had shit
my pants, it wouldn’t have mattered how drunk my friends were there was no way they would have wiped my ass. Unless maybe if I was shitting on their kitchen floor?! Bad visual huh?! What the hell is IN Cat Valium anyway?
Have you ever wiped a cat’s ass?! If you have please let me know
as I feel very sad and alone right now. I guess I can now remove that item from my bucket list. I don’t know what to do the next time we have a showing. Do I give her the pill or not? If she’s going to shit anyway then what’s the difference? So far she’s had the Valium three times and twice she was fine so I guess the odds are still in my favor but after today I’m really at ‘shits’ end!