(Me) Things are going great, yeah I had a pretty good day. Hey wait, what the hell is that?! There’s a huge possum running around the backyard. It’s broad daylight, it must be sick or something. Man that thing is UGLY.
(MIL) Oh my gosh!
(Will) (Half-way to the creature) Mom, look a possum! Can I pet it, can I please pet it mom?!
(Me) No you can’t pet the possum, get back here right now!
(Will) (Even closer to it) But Mom it looks nice.
(Me) William Joseph Maas get your ass over here right now!
(MIL) Honey is everything okay?
(Me) Yeah I guess. Oh shit, that stray cat (Angel) is chasing it. She’s chasing the possum. I have to go now. Bye!
Never a dull moment around here.
Yesterday I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things. Mac requested drumsticks without peanuts on the top. When she
got home from school I told her I bought some.
(Me) I bought you some drumsticks today.
(Will) (Totally flipping out!) You bought her drumsticks?! That is so not fair Mom! Why does she get a new set of drums and I don’t?!
(Me) I bought her drumsticks, not drums.
(Will) What good are drumsticks going to do her Mom if she doesn’t have drums? I know you bought her drums.
(Me) I bought her the kind of drumsticks you EAT Will. Not the kind you play drums with.
(Will) (Feeling pretty silly) Oh. Well why didn’t
you just say that from the start?
One thing we had to get acclimated to when we moved here was basketball. I’ve never been a huge fan of the sport but around
here you either bleed red (Louisville Cardinals) or you bleed blue (University of Kentucky.) Children are taught how to play the sport early on so they are better than the average child.
The other day the school did a fund raiser where each of the classes played each other. The main objective was to earn money for
the PTA but the kids took these games very seriously. Wills 1st grade class lost to a class of Kindergarteners.
McKenzie’s game went even worse. So bad that she was in tears
mid-way through the game and for hours afterwards. One mistake she made was telling the kids in her class that she was ‘good at basketball.’ Two years ago she played on a team at her school in Iowa and I believe they lost every game. Another bad thing she has going for her is that she’s tall. When you’re tall everyone automatically assumes that you’re good at basketball.
The game started out fine but the speed and dexterity of the kids was too much for Mac. She quickly became confused and took a shot at the wrong basket! The bleachers were packed and it seemed the whole
crowd yelled “NO!” at the same time. Thankfully she didn’t make the shot. That’s when the tears started.
But she kept playing and her classmates kept throwing the ball to her but she really didn’t know what to do with it. At one point she
dribbled in a large circle for about thirty seconds until someone took the ball from her. By the end when a ball was thrown to her she would duck and cover her face. She was humiliated.
After the game I got her out of there as quickly as I could. Will was even sympathetic and gave her a hug. It was one of those fifth-grade moments that will go down in infamy.