us up she asked my husband, “Do you want to spend a dollar to help end world hunger?” Don’t you hate it when businesses throw that shit in your face? If you say no you look like an ass, like you don’t want to end world hunger. It makes you think about the dozen taco’s, three large orders of potato puffs and three large drinks you just ordered and how one dollar wouldn’t really be that big of a deal. But still, I absolutely hate being presented with these “begging”opportunities at a check out.
We have a Dollar General store in town and EVERYTIME you check
out they say, “Would you like to donate your change today to help someone learn to read.” And when they ask the question they are holding your change; dollars in one hand and your coins in the other. They put the coins in the jar for you if you say yes. You don’t even get the satisfaction of hearing the jingle-jangle as you drop the money in on your own.
The only answer that doesn’t make you look like an asshole in this situation is “yes”. “Not today”sounds like helping people isn’t on your agenda for the day. “Maybe some other time” sounds like you only help out people in need on certain days. I’m a writer for Christ’s sake, of course I want people to learn to read but who are these people and why didn’t they learn to read in school? Or am I a jerk for even questioning that? If I’m going to be helping these people learn to read I want them to read MY BOOK, I have a few at home and I could even hook them up.
I even start to get stressed out about this while I’m waiting in line to check out and sometimes I convince myself that “today, I’m going to say
no.” But I get up there and cave every time and my change ends up in the stupid jar. I would rather put the change in my own stupid jar at home. Let’s face it, people that shop at Dollar General don’t have a lot of money to begin with. If we did have money we would shop somewhere else. We don’t shop there because we want to; we shop there because we have to.
The crazy part is that when they tally up all the money they get and send a check to the “reading charity” the check is coming from Dollar
General NOT all the assholes that gave their change at the checkout. So we donate the money (so we don’t look like an asshole at the checkout) and then we don’t get recognized for our efforts so we end up looking like a stupid asshole in the end anyway. It’s a no win situation.
The other day I was at Casey’s General Store gas station and the
clerk asked if I would like to pay a dollar to help the March of Dimes. By this point I was sick of people begging for my money. My answer, “No, but give me two scratch-off lottery tickets.” And then I asked the clerk if that made me sound selfish. The clerk laughed but didn’t answer so that means she thinks I’m an asshole. And I didn’t win on my lottery tickets either which really made me feel like an asshole.
Moral of the story: it doesn’t matter what you do because you’re an asshole either way.