for the messages, emails, phone calls, cards, letters and gifts. I’m very
blessed to have each and every one of you in my life. In case you’re wondering, I turned 44 yesterday. I even wrote you a poem to explain what 44 feels like to me;
What 44 Feels Like
44 to me feels like a slow jog after a run. It’s winding down and
gearing up and getting everything done.
It’s being a light weight and having to be half-drunk to dance,
it’s crossing my legs whenever I sneeze so I don’t pee my pants.
I can’t wear low rider jeans, my grannie undies stick out, so I
rock my Mom Jeans but I know what style is all about.
I dye my hair and tan my skin but things just aren’t the same,
even sporting my extreme push-up bra makes me feel no shame.
My hair is turning grey and wrinkles are creeping in, and my ass
is five times larger than it’s ever been.
Old enough to know better and doing what I should, I’m okay with
my new age because even I make 44 look good.
Saint Nick gave my kids crabs. That sounds bad, let me try again.
My kids were delighted yesterday morning when they woke up and found that Saint Nick had left candy in their shoes and hermit crabs in the microwave. We have cats so I’m sure Saint Nick was just making sure the cats didn’t get at them in the night and that’s why he placed them in the microwave. Mac named hers Kermit and Will named his Mr. Crabs. They have play dates with their crabs and have been building them quite an elaborate play area out of cardboard boxes.
If you’ve never had a Hermit Crab they are excellent “starter”
pets for kids.
The schools system in Monticello has a no weapons policy which
includes not allowing children to use ‘pretend’ guns at recess. My son has a difficult time with this. He loves nothing more than running around and shooting his make believe rifle. The boys in his class also enjoy playing shooting games at recess but the school policy continues to be a problem for them.
The other day Will told me that the first grade boys in his class had it all figured out and that they were again playing war games at school and
this time the teachers were okay with it. I was puzzled, how do you play war games without guns? “We are using pretend chainsaws Mom; they are not considered weapons so we are just pretending to cut each other up with them.”
Maybe I should add “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” to his Christmas
list. I swear to God we are raising a generation of psycho serial killers.